My Evil Little Pixie
by CarlisleEsmeRoseScorpius
Summary: Jasper's never supposed to say no to Alice... What happens when he does? ...5 days of torture, that's what. Chapter one is now revised.
1. Trying To Hide From A Psychic

Disclaimer: Jasper and Alice belong to Stephenie Meyer. And all the other twilight stuff here. :)

Jasper poked his blond head and called across to his brother. "Edward!" He came out of his and Bella's room with an amused look on his face. He knew what Jasper was about to ask. "She's looking for you too."

"She is? Oh, good." Jasper replied. He looked at Edward. "What's so funny?"

"She's going to try to get you to go with her."

"Oh, God. Shopping?"

"Yeah. Why do you think everyone's hiding?"

Jasper winced visibly. "Couldn't she take Bella or something?

"Nope. She ran away with Rosalie to 'hunt'."

Jasper sighed. "You'd better get out of here fast. She's almost here, you know." Edward advised him.

"Damn." Jasper ran his hand through his hair. "Tell her I'm not here."

"Yeah, sure."

"Thanks." Jasper went back into he room. Edward shook his head as he went back to his. "Attempting to hide from a psychic."

About two and a half minutes later, Alice appeared by Edward's door. She walked in impatiently. Edward was lying on his back on the massive bed, reading a book. He looked up.

"You could have knock-"

"Edward!" she ignored him. She stood by the dark door, with her arms crossed across her chest.

"Yes?"

"And why did you help Jasper hide from me?"

"You know." He said unsurprised.

"Answer me!"

"He's in your room." Edward said in a bored voice.

"I know that."

"Oh," He was still lounging on the bed, a book on his chest. He seemed deeply uninterested in all this.

"Ugh!" she groaned, spinning round and storming away. "None of you understand the importance of regular shopping." She was muttering.

Edward rolled his eyes and raised the large book back up. "_Excessive _shopping," he murmured to himself.

Across the hall, Jasper heard a "-he's in the room."

He briefly wondered why he ever trusted that boy. He braced himself for his wife.

"Jasper. Whitlock!" Alice shouted, as she stormed into their bedroom. She stood in front of him, just reaching his shoulder. Her scent washed over Jasper. He smiled, in spite of the fact he knew was probably about to be killed.

"Is something wrong?" He put an arm around her waist.

"Yes, Jasper." She said in a slow, evil voice. "What were you talking about with Edward before?"

"Hmm?" Jasper said innocently.

She raised an eyebrow. Anger emanated from her. "You are going to pay for this."

He sighed and pulled her down to sit on him on the edge of bed. "I'm sorry?" he attempted. Oh, God. She was going to make him go. And he had problems saying no to Alice.

She turned her delicate, perfect face up to him. "You're sorry? So that means you'll go right?" He bit his lip. "Right?" she repeated.

"Alice-" he began, then stopped when he saw the murderous look in her eyes.

"Yes?"

"Don't you think-"

"Don't I think-"

"I mean… you did just go shopping the day before last." She didn't say anything. Didn't move at all. She just sat on him, staring. He started to get worried.

"Jazz?"

"Yes?"

"Was that a no? Did you just say no to me, Jasper?"

"Well, not exactly- I mean….. it was a… yes? No?"

"Yes it's a no or yes it's a yes? Or no it's a yes or no it's a no?"

"_What?"_

There was an eerily calm look on her face. "You said no to me, Jasper." He winced as her emotions ran through him. He felt almost sick when Alice wasn't happy with something. Her emotions affected him more than any one else's.

"Alice-"

She stood up slowly, then turned to the door. She walked over to it, then turned her head back. There was an evil smile on her face. Then she said, very slowly, in a very scary voice, "Hale, you are SO going to regret this."

Jasper ran a hand though his pale hair. He didn't doubt it.

Alice left the room, gracefully. She'd had a vision. She knew exactly what she was going to do, exactly what was going to happen. Jasper was going to go through hell, and actually so was she. But it was his fault. He would never say no to her ever again.

A couple of hours later, Alice started walking rapidly to the library, where she knew Jasper was. It was time to reveal the plan. She was giggling.

She got to the huge, ornate library door. She snapped it open. "Jazz?" He was by the window, with his legs on the table and a pen in his hand. His skin sparkled as the fading sunlight poured in to his left side.

In a flash, she was by his side, wrapping her arms round his neck. "Hi honey." She grinned.

She kissed him. "Alice?" he murmured, surprised. Wasn't she supposed to be mad at him? She knotted her hands in his hair.

"Is this supposed to be your….revenge?"

She giggled darkly. "Oh, definitely not." Jasper wondered what _that_ was supposed to mean.

She held on tighter to him, kissing him harder. Jasper slid his hand under her shirt, trailing his fingers up her back. She bit his lower lip.

Suddenly he pulled away. "Wait…. What do you have planned?

That smile appeared again. "You really shouldn't worry about that. Just…take advantage of the moment." She rested her head on his shoulder.

He narrowed his eyes. "What are you talking abo-?" Then she interrupted him with a kiss. A long, deep kiss, like she was starved of him. Then she pulled away, sharply.

She touched the side of his face with her pale fingers, still smiling. Jasper felt smugness radiating from her. He held her chin in his hand. "Why do you feel so smug?"

"That's your last kiss from me."

"Excuse me?"

She counted them off with her fingers. "No touching, no kissing," her smile grew even wider. "_Definitely_ no sex..."

She looked back up at him. He had a horrified look on his face. She giggled. "For five days."

"You can't be serious."

"Oh I am." She snuggled up closer to him. "And trust me," she whispered. "I'm not going to make it easy for you."

Jasper was gazing at her, still shocked. He didn't say anything.

"You know," she said, wrapping some of his hair around her finger. "It's times like these I really love your power."

"Alice-"

Then suddenly he gasped as a huge wave of lust ran through him. She smiled innocently. It got worse, as she projected toe curling desire to him. Jasper bit his lip, hard. It was worse than staring down at a vat of fresh human blood.

"Alice-" he said tightly, like he was in pain. "You can't possibly-"

And then it stopped as rapidly as it had started. He looked down at her with horror filled eyes. "And you're going to be getting that continuously for the next hundred and twenty hours." She said softly into his ear.

"Because of _shopping_?" He finally managed to gasp.

She cocked her head to the side. "It's more like- I want to make sure you never, ever say no to me again."

He opened his mouth, then closed it, then opened it again, unable to talk.

"Well," she said brightly. "It was 5:36:48 that I kissed you last- I checked- so from exactly that time on Thursday, you're completely free to do whatever you want to me."

"Okay, that's all I have to tell you. I have party planning for Carlisle to do. Oh, and I promise you, I'll be back soon." She grinned extremely happily.

She stood up, then bent to wrap her arms around his neck. She ran her fingers through his hairs sending waves of lust to him.

"Bye Jazz," she whispered. She spun round, turned her head to flash one more smile at him, and started heading for the door.

He watched her in shock as she bounced out of the library.

5 days.

Author's Note- I hope you liked it, PLease try to R & R and thanks for reading :)


	2. Dude Anytime

Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer's characters... not ,mine :)

"You did WHAT?"

Alice laughed. "Yep."

"She did WHAT?"

Jasper groaned. "Yep,"

Alice was with Rosalie, organizing the guest list. Looking for advice. She now realized that was the complete last person she should have gone to.

Jasper was in the library with Emmett, who he'd gone to see in attempt to unload everything on his mind. It didn't work.

"Oh man. This is horrible." Rose continued.

"For Jasper right? Yeah I know, but-"

Rosalie looked up from the list of female guests, an incredulous look on her face. "Jasper? Who cares about Jasper? What about the rest of us in the house? I mean, he's gonna be depressed all week!"

Alice groaned. "Seriously, Rose." She shook her head. "Could you be anymore-"

"No but seriously! Alice! If you keep this up, which I really doubt you will, everyone will be depressed during Carlisle's party."

"Nope. It ends just as the party starts." She raised an eyebrow at her with a grin on her face. "You think I can't keep it up?"

Rosalie rolled her eyes. "No. You'll look at his 'tortured' eyes and be overcome with love or something sickening like that. Plus- hello? No sex for five days?" She laughed, like the idea was unbelievable.

Alice grinned. "I'll get through it. Rose, we_ normal_ people have self control, unlike you guys."

Rosalie just smirked at her. "Yeah, as _normal _ as vampires get-"

Alice snapped the guest list book back open. "Okay. We'll talk about depression and lack of sex later- we have a party to plan."

Rosalie clearly wasn't listening to her. Suddenly, she brightened like she'd gotten a great idea. "Okay! I know what we can do!"

"Seating arrangements?"

"What? Anyway… is there a way me and Emmett could like,_ leave_?"

"What?"

"Leave. Home, for like a couple of days till this-" she rolled her eyes, again. "-_Disaster_… is over."

"Thought you said I couldn't go through with it?"

"Let's just say…. I remembered how capable you are."

Meanwhile, in the library, Jasper was wondering briefly to himself why he'd come to talk about this with Emmett.

Emmett was shaking his head, with a look of amused disbelief on his face. "Jazz, Jazz. You gotta keep your woman under control."

Jasper laughed, throwing a book on Emmett's head. "Shut up."

A look of amusement crossed his face, and then horrified realization. "I've gotta get out of here!" Emmett exclaimed. Jasper looked at him with a raised his eyebrow.

"Oh man. Everyone's gonna be feeling like… _you _for the whole week-" he groaned.

Jasper rolled his eyes. "Thanks for all your support." He muttered

"-But Alice and Esme will probably skin me alive for leaving…" Emmett didn't seem to realize Jasper was there anymore. His voice drifted off as he thought of ways to get out of the house without Alice and Esme knowing- which was basically impossible.

Jasper wondered, once again, why he bothered to come to talk to _this_ brother.

"….I mean, we _could_ go stay in the beach house after Chem. tomorrow, but they'll probably hunt us down…."

"Emmett!"

He turned back, remembering Jasper was there. "Oh yeah. Don't worry dude." He patted Jasper's shoulder, trying not to laugh. "She's not gonna go through with it. You guys will look into each other's eyes and be overcome with love or some nonsense like that- Anyway, on more important issues- I need ideas, how I'm gonna get the hell out of this house-"

Jasper looked at him with an exasperated look on his face. "You want me to help you move out this week…. Because I'll be depressing everyone in the house?"

"Yeah?" Emmett was looking at him oddly, like he didn't get what the problem was.

"-So my mate and mother can kill us _both_?"

"Pretty much."

Jasper was by the door then. "Er, maybe not. And, oh yeah, thanks for _all_ your help Emmett."

Emmett walked over to him, a serious look on his face. "Dude," he said. "Anytime."

A/N- sorri it's short... i wrote this months ago, but i kept thinking it's too short... no one will like it, but i'm having writer's block and i'm not writing anything new, so why not post it. anyway, maybe reviews will inspire me *hint* *hint* ;)


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